Unplug Your Self
Food for Thought #18 - Why don’t we say what we mean?

Food for Thought #18 - Why don’t we say what we mean?

February 21, 2020

I have been putting a lot of effort into the crafting of a persona who speaks his mind. Someone who is fearless in the face of is said and what needs to be said. But even though I am working to do this. I still struggle. I find myself not acting on what I want to say. What I want to do. This perplexes me. Why are there times where I hold back. What is it that is so overwhelming that I would not just reach out and ask someone if they are ok? Or say that I don’t like what they are doing?

Recently there have been a few pieces of news down here in Australia. One pieces was about a teenage boy on a train cursing and then being asked to stop. He then stood over some pensioners in a threatening manner and was then quickly accosted himself by a few other train goers. He was actually choked by one man and then stood over himself for a time. The second piece of news was about a local volunteer fire fighter who told the PM of Australia to get F*cked on the news. He’d been fighting fires and was obviously fatigues and mentally stressed. He subsequently got fired for the volunteer fire service and a whole bunch of internet support went his way. So much so that in his hometown as the local, people from all over the world are putting money down to buy him drinks. The owner said that he’d never pay for a drink again.

So why these two weird stories? Why am I asking about why I hold back. Why society holds back. Well on the surface, we are now a very risk adverse culture. The internet has neutered our collective ability to speak our minds. Main for fear that we will offend someone. That the outcome will be bad for our selves and therefore we hold back. Then there is the massive misrepresentation of your efforts. It’s all just a mess. But the bottom line is there is help out there. That you dont need to be alone in your struggle. You can ask for help and should do early. Dont live in this pressure cooker waiting to explode.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps. 

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

Ep 18 - How much do we really know about our selves? Unpacking your emotional bags is tough.

Ep 18 - How much do we really know about our selves? Unpacking your emotional bags is tough.

February 17, 2020

I have to say I was somewhat blown away by this interview. Not because it was more or less than any of the other interview, but that there was this sort of depth and intimacy to it. Giv is an obvious professional. A capable person much like many of my guests. But also a confident person who is very much in tune with who she is and what she offers as a presence in a conversation. In retrospect I felt like I was sort of all over the place and it was Giv who kept me on track through this interview. I know this is just what I think and it is not necessarily the case. But it does speak to her ability to be present and in tune with the moment.

Giverny Lewis is Sex therapist & Relationship Councillor. She has a background in social work and has worked for all sorts of organisations but when she realised that it just wasn’t the trajectory she was after she took a year off and decompressed. Upon returning home she kicked into studying Sociology. While she studied she was hungry for knowledge and though that academics was the pursuit but then transitioned into counselling when she realised the human connection side was so rewarding.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps. 

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

Food for Thought #17 - Sometimes starting is the hardest part.

Food for Thought #17 - Sometimes starting is the hardest part.

February 14, 2020

We often sit in one place. Sort of stuck. Lacking the ability to move forward. Coming up with great excuses to not just do something. We all know what I’m talking about. Loosing weight, changing your diet, quoting smoking, drinking, changing your job or role, learning a new skill, asking for help. You name it, we all have the desire to change things. To step it up or move in some new direction. But we work against ourselves. We actually find ways to not start or if we do start, we tend to have a harsh failure based approach which gives us an easy out, or way to quit.

Now you might be saying, fuck you Joe! I’m not like that! I have it all sorted out. I don’t suffer from motivation. And I will say back to you, great, but I am sure at one point you had to question this motivation. Ask yourself why you are doing it. Feel a sense of defeat. However, my argument is not that we lack the ability to to achieve things. My argument is that the simple act of starting something is the hardest part.

Once you get moving. You find that “Why”. You are mostly set. The issue lies in the expectation that it will just happen. That if you buy running shoes you will automagically become a regular runner. That if you join a gym you will somehow loose weight. So while this is partially true, the deciding factor is your ability to persevere. To be agile in your approach. To measure yourself for success, not failure. Your view of what you want to become is like this romanticised thing. As an example, we would all love to join the gym and in a few month get the body of your idolised insta personality. The harsh truth is that there is shit tone of sacrifice to do this. Time, diet, lifestyle choices. You name it and it would ultimately have to be on the chopping block.

The reality is that we all want something. We have goals we tell our selves. The ideas that will unlock the door and let us become the latest version of ourselves. We just don’t want to accept, nor put the work in to getting there. So my challenge for you is to remove all expectations in your pursuits. Set goals, yes! But engage in act of simply starting. Dance in the thought that the game is about moving forward in time. That the time required is liquid and you’ll know once you get there that the destination has been met. That once you get there, you recalibrate and set a new destination. Because at the end of the day, life is about the journey and not destination. It is only by being present in the journey that you will find your way, learn new things, see your achievements and set yourself up for success.

So thats the deal humans! Get started and stick with it. You’ll do it in time. But be realistic about the amount of time it will take to get there. Because the more you get after what ever it is you want to start, the more the feeling of doing will happen. The better you will get at it. Because that the trick we want isn’t it? To feel like we did something? That while we here, we did more than we thought we were capable of.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

Ep 17 - The art of leadership in the modern age hasn’t changed, just the humans trying to be one.

Ep 17 - The art of leadership in the modern age hasn’t changed, just the humans trying to be one.

February 10, 2020

Today I got to sit down with Tim Kitching and talk about climate change, leadership, the nature of corporations, the gig economy and a few other aspects of life that we all try our best to get along with. Tim is a very interesting person in that he was once a KFC franchise guy, a police officer and now a coach to companies trying to get to the next level. It’s a fine art teaching leadership and it takes a leader to be courageous enough to do something like this. Tims journey in life lead him to the point where he was interested in working with leaders on being better leaders. He has spent quite a bit of time identifying the qualities of leadership and to be honest, has the balls to go into a company and let them know exactly what they lack in the leadership department. It’s refreshing!

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

Food for Thought #16 - How does someone with imposter syndrome get unstuck?

Food for Thought #16 - How does someone with imposter syndrome get unstuck?

February 6, 2020

Quite a lot has been running through my mind recently. Lots of activity. Lots of dialog. I came across a revelation which stemmed from a tweet that not all humans have an internal narrative. This was some what of a shock to me, but also some what revealing as well. The shock was mainly due to the fact that my assumption around this entire podcast had to do with the fact that we ALL have an inner narrative. Or Self Talk, as I reffer to it. But come to find out, some of us do not have this at all and that it manifests from abstract non-verbal thoughts is quite interesting.

https://twitter.com/KylePlantEmoji/status/1221713792913965061

To be honest it explains quite a lot about how many people deal with the world around them. Their own battle with their emotions and feelings. If I imagine being driving by abstract thought it really opens up how people respond to things. How they process. It most likely explains how people just don’t understand what you are explaining! Never the less, the more we know about how we operate mentally the better.

I have also decided that my imposter syndrome needs to be dealt with. I have not been very active in various forums with my views and opinions around all of this. So today I actually decided to engage in a post on reddit which was around dealing with negativity, emotions and crying.

https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalintelligence/comments/ewjlss/how_do_you_get_yourself_to_accept_and_feel/fgk86zr/?context=3

There are a few reasons I jumped in. One was I really felt for the user who posted. It’s a hard place to be when you loose a connection to your emotions. I know that I’ve felt that way and it weirded me out. Another reason was that I often talk myself out of posting my thoughts because I am not certified. I am not trained. My thoughts centre around the idea that I could damage someone with my brand of thinking. The final reason is the proof I could be wrong. That someone who knows will call me out and it will end this romance I have going with this podcast and all that I seem to value and believe. It could shake the foundations I so firmly stand on.

But I have sort been pushed by a conversation, a book I am reading and the fact that I tell others not to feel this way. Yes, I know. I am fallible. I have chinks in my armour. But I am putting this out there so that I can no longer hide. I was giving one of my best mates advice on career moves and he mentioned that he got a bit of a blow in not being recognised as being at the level he thought he was. I felt it was a great opportunity to recalibrate, learn whats needed and then become a full Pokemon. He said Voltron. We agree to disagree on my analogy I guess. The point stands however. It does not matter if you get called out. It might just reset you enough to get you where you are going. With respect to the book I am reading, “Everything is F*cked” I need to have more hope in my routine. In my thinking. So in order to get moving I need get out of my own way, mentally, and just start going for it.

So I hope that you’ve enjoyed this. It’s sort of a roller coaster of thinking and movements. Really it just boils down to a bit of hustle. But I think it’s time. Time to put myself out there and see how I measure up.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

Ep 16 - The art of corporate rejection and keeping focused on what matters. Just keep building.

Ep 16 - The art of corporate rejection and keeping focused on what matters. Just keep building.

February 2, 2020

We often just keep moving along in life. Just existing. Getting up and doing that rat race. In some of us the misery of life kicks in. You become cynical. You only exist to do the bare minimum and get back home. Because that’s your safe place. But some of us go the other way. We are not satisfied with the cynical life. We strive for more and we push our selves to achieve some sort of mythical success.

When I spoke with Phil Martin, it was more about the art of finding a balance. There is life and family and there is work. But when you focus on what you want from it all there is sort of clarity to it all. When your focus is on solving problems and building cool things, it opens up the whole work experience. I would even argue that when you get it right, there is no work. There is just living. And that is what it was like with Phil. He is honest in what he looking to achieve in life. He knows that there is an easy way and a hard way. So while he loves golf and Crossfit, he knows that it’s sort of all for naught if you are inspired in your work.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

#SelfTalk #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfHelp #MentalHealth

Food for Thought #15 - The stories we tell ourselves.

Food for Thought #15 - The stories we tell ourselves.

January 31, 2020

I just finished a few things. I finished the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and I also finished watching Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez. There are a lot of things swirling around my head at the moment. One of which is was that I had no real intention to read the book. Mainly because I was concerned it would change me or prove that I was somehow wrong. That while the outside world looked at me and said this book was written about me would be wrong and that I was someone an imposter. I know right!? The guy who’s been talking to you about self talk and getting your thoughts out so that you cannot hide from them. Yeah, even he struggles with these issues. One I read the book, I could not put it down. Initially it was because I am on this plan to read 10 pages a day. Because I am a slack ass and never read. I also want to work my muscle more and have converted this into doing a daily job for my brain. So far this year I have read more than I have not. Some weekends get missed. But I am reading more than 10 pages a day on the train. So all in all I am hitting the goal on average. The things we tell ourselves.

https://www.kobo.com/au/en/ebook/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck-1 https://www.netflix.com/title/81062828

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

#SelfTalk #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfHelp #MentalHealth

Ep 15 - It’s not always easy to achieve your dreams. But hard work and hustle help.

Ep 15 - It’s not always easy to achieve your dreams. But hard work and hustle help.

January 26, 2020

Often times in your life you look ahead. Especially when you are young and have those big dreams. You can never really see the finer details of how you will achieve them specifically. What they will look like. Where you will achieve them. But dreams that become real life are not often realised. In this episode of Unplug Your Self, we talk to John Kennedy Jr (JFK) and walk through his journey as an ice hockey player, his dream to bring the best hockey academy in the world to the sport and then building on that dream in Australia. Where the resident hockey population is smaller. But also a great place to hustle, build a business and achieve your dream.

JFK didn’t not get an easy shake of the dice with his career of growing up as a hockey player. When he was at his best he hit roadblocks. When he was done and ready to hang up the skates he got sage advice from his brother and a great opportunity to get an education and play the game he loves. His focus and persistence is admirable and he is the kind of guy you want in any room. Just doing what he does. He even kicked into asking me what I was trying to get out of this podcast and where I was hoping to take it. A nice little shake up.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

#SelfTalk #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfHelp #MentalHealth

Food for Thought #14 - Sometimes just being there matters.

Food for Thought #14 - Sometimes just being there matters.

January 23, 2020

I have often caught myself thinking about moments that define a persons life. Not all moments need to be kill your mother and father, become batman, but thats not to say many moments can’t be transformational in a persons life. Mainly in hindsight, you are able to look back at those defining moments. Unless you are totally self aware, emotionally intelligent and a prophet are you able to know you are in one. You’d also need to have known you were in one before to really know! None the less my mind often thinks of being present.

When I was a kid my Dad took the whole family to this group family counselling seminar. There were sessions where the family went, where the kids went and where the adults went. It was held at this cool hotel and remember being impressed by the fact that my parents got a room for the kids with an adjoining room for themselves. With that joining door inside. It was also the first time I shaved. I was maybe 12? And the TV channel situation was off the hook. But that’s not why we were there. We were there for some other reason. One I am not sure of today, other than to oil the family machine. Possibly some sort of get better MLM like thing. Oh shit! I also got to have coffee! My first real coffee of my own. My dad pushed my step mum to let me. He only did that a few times. Otherwise she was in control of how we grew up. But yeah, it was all trust falls and learning a language for the family to use as a take away. Looking back, it was all sort of gimmicky and safe. But the things I recall and still use to this day is “Being Present” and “Letting things go”. Those two concepts stuck with me.

To this day I am very much a person who is invested and present in the moment. When I am not, it is quite obvious to me. I am irritated. And that is a trigger for me to flip the switch. I only learned this later in life, but I still use this to this day. In combination of letting what ever is irritating me, go. This combination is massive and can oil the human experience in a way that allows you to get as much as possible from any moment. For example, I may not want to work on this project, but that does not mean that I need to be right about its direction. I can let it go, be present in the moment, and use influence to move it in a more comfortable direction. I may also not want to talk about something. For instance, it could make me uncomfortable to talk about a certain topic but I know in my mind that it must be spoken about. I would need to let what ever is stopping me so that I can be present in that conversation to maximise the outcomes and ensure that my role in moving forward to done well. So that all parties involved can move and evolve past what ever is going on.

Hence why I bring this all up. Today my son won his second national club water polo championship in a row. A massive feat. The team he was on was dominant and he was part of that. In the final game he played all of 30 seconds and I know in the past this sort of thing would have upset him. Today however, he was in it. Present. He had to let go of his desire to play in order to be present and in the that moment so that he could enjoy every minute of it. I sent him some text after I watched the live stream and congratulated him. He has achieved so much more than I did at his age. It amazes me. I did mention the 30 seconds of play but to remind him that it was amazing none the less. His response, YTBS. I had no idea what that meant so I guessed. “Yeah, total bull shit”. I was wrong. It was a typo and was meant to be “YTB. Yeah the Boys!”. I brought that baggage to him and he said naw mate. Not today. I’m just happy for the team!

Ep 14 - 101 reasons to live life, not flip out and missing the window to be a cheerleader!

Ep 14 - 101 reasons to live life, not flip out and missing the window to be a cheerleader!

January 19, 2020

Well I am back baby! Getting them interviews back on line. I do enjoy talking to people and this week I got the chance to speak with Brittany Cristaudo. I know Brit through my Crossfit life and grew that initial meeting into a friendship. She was my coach and resident whip cracker but now she is off to South Africa to be with her now fiancé and start a new chapter in life. It’s undermined when I will see her again, but no doubt I will speak to her in the near future.

It’s not everyday to talk to someone who has such a clear picture in their head when it comes to what they are trying to get done. And it’s a whole other thing when they achieve their dreams and are faced with the “what now?” problem. In saying this, Brit is not to phased. She is bursting with ideas and just needs the time to get a few going.

Thanks everyone for listening! I am keen to get questions from you so that I can adjust and do more with the show. So you can reach out to me via email ([email protected]) Instagram (@unplug_your_self) or twitter (@unplugyour_self). I’d really like to hear what you think, topics you want covered and if that’s not your bag, just some general feedback. Also make sure you go to iTunes and give the show some stars and feedback. It all helps.

Just remember, by leveraging your self awareness, managing your mindset, having mindfulness and building your emotional intelligence you can unlock your negativity and be the person you want to be!

#SelfTalk #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfHelp #MentalHealth

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