Unplug Your Self

Food for Thought #14 - Sometimes just being there matters.

January 23, 2020

I have often caught myself thinking about moments that define a persons life. Not all moments need to be kill your mother and father, become batman, but thats not to say many moments can’t be transformational in a persons life. Mainly in hindsight, you are able to look back at those defining moments. Unless you are totally self aware, emotionally intelligent and a prophet are you able to know you are in one. You’d also need to have known you were in one before to really know! None the less my mind often thinks of being present.

When I was a kid my Dad took the whole family to this group family counselling seminar. There were sessions where the family went, where the kids went and where the adults went. It was held at this cool hotel and remember being impressed by the fact that my parents got a room for the kids with an adjoining room for themselves. With that joining door inside. It was also the first time I shaved. I was maybe 12? And the TV channel situation was off the hook. But that’s not why we were there. We were there for some other reason. One I am not sure of today, other than to oil the family machine. Possibly some sort of get better MLM like thing. Oh shit! I also got to have coffee! My first real coffee of my own. My dad pushed my step mum to let me. He only did that a few times. Otherwise she was in control of how we grew up. But yeah, it was all trust falls and learning a language for the family to use as a take away. Looking back, it was all sort of gimmicky and safe. But the things I recall and still use to this day is “Being Present” and “Letting things go”. Those two concepts stuck with me.

To this day I am very much a person who is invested and present in the moment. When I am not, it is quite obvious to me. I am irritated. And that is a trigger for me to flip the switch. I only learned this later in life, but I still use this to this day. In combination of letting what ever is irritating me, go. This combination is massive and can oil the human experience in a way that allows you to get as much as possible from any moment. For example, I may not want to work on this project, but that does not mean that I need to be right about its direction. I can let it go, be present in the moment, and use influence to move it in a more comfortable direction. I may also not want to talk about something. For instance, it could make me uncomfortable to talk about a certain topic but I know in my mind that it must be spoken about. I would need to let what ever is stopping me so that I can be present in that conversation to maximise the outcomes and ensure that my role in moving forward to done well. So that all parties involved can move and evolve past what ever is going on.

Hence why I bring this all up. Today my son won his second national club water polo championship in a row. A massive feat. The team he was on was dominant and he was part of that. In the final game he played all of 30 seconds and I know in the past this sort of thing would have upset him. Today however, he was in it. Present. He had to let go of his desire to play in order to be present and in the that moment so that he could enjoy every minute of it. I sent him some text after I watched the live stream and congratulated him. He has achieved so much more than I did at his age. It amazes me. I did mention the 30 seconds of play but to remind him that it was amazing none the less. His response, YTBS. I had no idea what that meant so I guessed. “Yeah, total bull shit”. I was wrong. It was a typo and was meant to be “YTB. Yeah the Boys!”. I brought that baggage to him and he said naw mate. Not today. I’m just happy for the team!